Posted by Pfinstegg on March 9, 2004, at 20:09:10
In reply to Re: the couch.. » Pfinstegg, posted by Fallen4myT on March 9, 2004, at 19:18:39
You flirt! God bless you! And HE'S crossed the line a bit! This is all in a way much more exciting than what happens to me. Analysts don't flirt AT ALL. He's just a completely safe haven for a completely exposed me. What I do get to do is say whatever is on my mind, or whatever my body feels, so I get to learn more and more about me- what I feel and what I want- just totally private stuff one would never say to anyone. I can't actually write any of it here, but there just aren't any limits, the way there usually are in life. An awful lot of the *stuff* seems to have to do with him! It doesn't seem to matter whether I'm talking about stuff I'm actually feeling, wish I felt, wish I didn't, or am just imagining or pretending- it's all stuff he wants me to say. The most he'll say is little comments like, "it's good you're talking about that", or "remember that I said I want ALL of you in this room" (when I feel I've expressed something unacceptable). Once I said I felt jealous that he was going on vacation to Ireland where he would make love with his wife *all the time*. He said ,"doesn't seem fair, does it?" That seemed like a breath-taking admission! And it didn't seem one bit fair! How dare he?
He's awfully experienced, and manages to be intimately involved with me and all my "stuff" without ever crossing any lines- even a little! I guess that's what 30 years of experience will do..Sometimes I wonder what all of this is actually doing, because it's not problem-solving- not zeroing in on anything in particular. Instead, it's apparently helping me integrate all the different parts of me better. I do feel better- less anxious and depressed than I did a year ago, and kind of more substantial- like I am really occupying my little spot on the earth more fully.
But I don't get to flirt, and so far haven't worn a pretty dress, and I do love to hear about people who have!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:321334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322598.html