Posted by Racer on March 10, 2004, at 20:29:11
First of all, thank you so much for your concern about my current difficulties. It's so frustrating, and the more I try to do anything to get my needs met, the more I can see the folks who are supposed to meet those needs write me off as a complainer. {{sigh}} It shouldn't be that hard.
Today I went to the emergency room about my eye. No, didn't ask for anything for the shingles, but that's another story. (they're on my thigh, nowhere near my face.) The eye is an infection, my husband will be picking up the antibiotics on his way home, my mind is relieved. Now that I know it's safe to do so, I've had a hot damp cloth over my eyes most of the afternoon, and it feels a lot better for it.
As for my questions, I know the first answer already: I can ask my questions, and you're under no obligation whatsoever to answer any of them. Don't feel as if you have to give any sort of answer to any of these, because I will understand a simple, "Sorry, but that's just too personal. I'm not willing to discuss that with you." In fact, if that's how you feel, I'll take it as a compliment that you felt safe being honest with me.
OK, here goes:
I've been musing about the distinctions between feelings and behaviors and how each are handled in therapy, which made me think about you and your cutting. You've mentioned that your therapist doesn't talk much about it, and I wondered if she discusses it with you in terms of feelings or behaviors when she has talked about it at all? Do you explore the feelings or the behaviors at all in therapy? If so, do you make a distinction between the two? Does that make any sense whatsoever? I'm very curious about this, and have been pondering over this sort of thing for a while.
I guess part of what I'm curious about is this: you must be feeling such pain, and those feelings must be so overwhelming. At the same time, it is possible to feel pain and not cut oneself, so the behavior is a sort of a key separator. Does that make sense? It's only what's in my head, so not something to necessarily believe. What I'm wondering is if more of a focus on the behavior might make a difference in either your behavior or the feelings associated with it.
So, anything you feel safe telling me, just to educate me about what others go through, will be respectfully chewed over in the great maw of my brain. And if you don't feel like saying anything at all, thank you for your concern about me above. It means a lot to me.
poster:Racer
thread:323072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323072.html