Posted by Pandabear on March 18, 2004, at 20:08:45
Today, I had a session with my psychiatrist because she wanted to talk to me...(out of the blue she calls me and wants me to come in). Anyway, she changes me from taking seroquel..(which i was happy about) to taking Trazadone. She tells me that she is speculating that I am bi polar. I asked her when she would know for sure and she said that she already believes that I have bi polar disorder. Previously she had told me that i was hypomanic...and she said that she thinks im bipolar. She tells me that i will more than likely NOT be on my medicine for the rest of my life and yet ...Im thinking that if I am TRUELY BIPOLAR...I WILL have to be on medicine the rest of my life...But, she then goes on to say "Lets not jump to far ahead". She then says..that she wants to stabilize me. HELLO...I AM STABLE. I have been the most stable I have ever been this past month! I was so mad. She tells me that there is stuff she is not telling me because she doesnt want me to worry and obsess but, then she goes on and says that she is speculating that im bipolar. WHAT I WANT is for both my psychologist and psychiatrist to SIT DOWN WITH ME and tell me exactly what they are thinking. IF they think that i am bipolar, I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT IS MAKING THEM THINK THAT I AM...I dont know what im doing that is making them think this. I feel like im taking medicine that i dont need to be taking. YES im taking antidepressants...which is a good thing..but i dont think im bipolar. MAYBE I AM..I MIGHT BE but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR. YES, i have mood swings and yes i go up and down but im not extreme...my dad who is a doc doesnt think that I am bipolar...but i dont know...im fine with them giving me the diagnosis of being bipolar and im fine with having to take medicine the rest of my life but ALL I WANT is an explanation as to why they are diagnosing me with these things..and yet, they wont tell me for fear that i will obsess. I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.
I want to leave a message on the voice mail at their office tonight explaining how frustrated I am and that I want to meet with both of them to talk but I cannot receive calls at work..AND, I cannot take time off of work to come and talk to them.So im kind of stuck unless they are willing to meet after hours which i know they wont do. PLUS, I CANNOT COMPLAIN because they will chalk it up there as one of my "moods" or issues and it will be another thing that they can diagnose me with... IM SO FRUSTRATED..can you tell? I dont know what to do..should i leave a message for them tomorrow? I am going to be bothered by this..Im so frustrated..I feel like im just popping pills...I hate being forced to sleep when im not ready to sleep. My psychiatrist told me that Bipolar people love to stay up late. EXCUSE ME but just because i decide to stay up until 12 doesnt mean im bipolar...if this were the case then the whole world and at least the younger generation woul all be bipolar....geez...what can i do..im so frustrated...should i call them or no? please respond asap...im so irritated about this...in the mean time i better take my medicine even though i dont want to...:(
poster:Pandabear
thread:325851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/325851.html