Posted by rainyday on April 28, 2004, at 8:32:25
Last night I went to a women's wellness circle my T runs once a month. There are clients, acquaintances, and just interesting women she invites via p-docs in the area. The subject this month was guided meditation.
OK, so during the first meditation I had a panic attack - the first in a couple of days (which I thought was real progress). Then I started leaking tears. It felt like the meditation opened this gaping hole inside me and my wounded soul was dripping out of me. I sniffled and snorted and tried to subdue the crying - which never works, by the way.
It just got worse as the evening progressed. at one point my T looked at me and mouthed "are you ok?" to which I shook my head and cried harder. I hung around as long as I could stand after the meeting, but ended up fleeing and sobbing all the way home.
I have met some of the women in this group before. Some of them put a comforting hand on my shoulder and I cried all the harder. This always happens when someone tries to comfort me.
I feel partly like I cried because I was in a group where I felt safe enough to do so. On the other hand, I also cried last week before having a mammogram, and I didn't know a soul there.
Any ideas as to what is happening here? I left my T a message this morning apologizing for disrupting the group (someone sniffling and sighing is not helpful for a meditation lesson). I feel like a crumb.
poster:rainyday
thread:340925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/340925.html