Posted by spoc on May 12, 2004, at 10:21:08
In reply to So, the door is open for debate? (nm) » spoc, posted by 64bowtie on May 12, 2004, at 3:46:19
Hi Rod! (I just posted a response for you at your Admin thread too.) Thanks for dispelling any appearance of official blocks existing. The door is open -- to all things that foster goodwill between people! Or, maybe I should say, to all things virtually *guaranteed* to foster only goodwill between people! Yes, what I am saying is that for the sake of extreme caution, I am with Dr. Bob and Dinah all the way!
Dinah's seemingly obvious definition of what civility means here was actually very helpful to me yesterday. When she stated things in such a way that I finally understood that 'incivility' here doesn't necessarily mean that what was said would be likely to meet the definition of actual *rudeness* anywhere; but is rather -- and simply -- the person in charge's call as to what shouldn't be attempted here.
It was further revolutionary to me when, elsewhere, I also saw Dinah suggest to some people that they email their positions on a matter to Dr. Bob, since the issue would have been difficult to discuss within allowable PB parameters. AND -- she did *not* mean that anyone was necessarily going to flare up or disintegrate -- she simply meant (I believe) that the very debate itself *couldn't* fall technically within bounds here, even if the statements being made were *not* rude in any way!
Just technicalities of what's permissible, nothing personal as to anyone's ability or lack thereof to remain civilized! Such as, if I go into an Asian restaurant and must remove my shoes; or into some other cultural realm where I must cover my head, I don't *have* to get it, I just have to *do* it -- or not go there!
So all that being said, with no commentary on our respective abilities to handle this well from beginning to end, it wouldn't even be pleasurable or do justice to a subject with such a full spectrum of passionate views and potential examples, to dig into it within the firm limits of what is permitted here, by this private owner, and his right to make the rules.
We could make it a challenge and a potential growth exercise to try to do so anyway, and with all good spirits I acknowledge the possible usefulness of that, but choose to instead diligently set about my neglected obligations and keep the brain channels clear and focused on other things that will, for me personally, behoove concrete progress towards the priorities I'm messing up lately. And trust me when I say that I am, and while poor time management skills on the Internet and other personal business are areas I need to tackle eventually too, I must first apply myself to things like fulfilling my employment, organizational and cleaning needs.
Yes, strangely it *is* an either-or proposition for me at this point, so I know you will understand when I say that what I am doing is *removing* feeling and pleasure-seeking in order to do the responsible, mature, growth-fostering and selfless thing. Using reason over desires, just as advocated! But thanks for reopening the general lines of communication! :- )
poster:spoc
thread:345158
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/346105.html