Posted by LG04 on May 19, 2004, at 15:17:26
In reply to Re: not knowing about your therapist's real life » LG04, posted by DaisyM on May 18, 2004, at 19:24:31
Lots of interesting responses. Therapy relationships really differ one from another. I am going to see mine tomorrow and I have a million things to talk to her about but I want to bring up the question about how we can be so close if I don't know about those who are so important to her, etc. I'll tell you her response. (assuming there's time for me to get to this question tomorrow)
Daisy, I read the Dependency piece you recommended. It was very good and helped me to understand a lot about myself and my relationship with her, and especially about why it would be so painful if I decide to leave. Thank you. I gave it to my therapist to read. I keep forgetting to ask her if she's finished it (i know she started it). She spends so much time on me (phone calls, twice a week sessions at 1 1/2 hours almost each time, emails a few times a week that i send her) that I feel like it's nervy of me to give her reading assignments too! Though she never complains...and usually she thanks me.
It took me a long time to ask my therapist the first question about herself. Months and months. I remember how nervous I was when I wanted to ask her something about herself for the first time. (even many times after that) Now I'm not nervous at all for the most part, depending upon the question I want to ask. For me, it was/is about getting closer, and about knowing her as more than a blank slate. But sometimes I want to leave her as she is...I don't want her to be more real to me. I need her to be the mother figure or whatever else. We've talked about it, and she is okay with whatever I need her to be at the moment. Still, I imagine her a lot with her kids and at home, etc.
I remember when I asked her and she told me where she is from. I was so upset...I imagined her to be from somewhere else and it ruined it for me. For some reason, it was a big deal. But after I got over it, I was glad to know.
I also ask her "inside" questions...does she cry a lot, does she ever get jealous of people and if so about what things, etc. I think it's because I never had "twinning" with my mom (from the "In Session" book) and I crave it, the feeling of belonging to a womanhood and am I normal and what do other women experience emotionally, etc.
Anyway it's an interesting topic, in my opinion.
LG
poster:LG04
thread:348081
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/348643.html