Posted by DaisyM on May 20, 2004, at 17:41:09
In reply to meds » DaisyM, posted by Aphrodite on May 19, 2004, at 20:08:12
A-
His opinion on meds is that they help and hurt. They bring down the anxiety and help get through the hard days. He also thinks they mask some of the pain so people don't work through what they need to work through and sometimes they even leave therapy. He does, however, recommend something to help me sleep (Ativan) because middle of the nights are so hard for me. I haven't followed up on this yet. There is a part of me that really wanted him to say, "I'm there with you at 3am, you are not alone," Not, "take a pill to go back to sleep." He rarely misses an opportunity to reassure me, but he missed this one.
We talked today about being depressed. He asked me if I thought I was depressed. I said sometimes I felt "just" depressed but I didn't think it was that simple. If I screened me, I have many of the factors that point to depression. But realistically, I get up, shower, dress with care, keep my house clean, take care of my kids, do my job and live my life. So how I feel and what I'm capable of still doing are very different.
I said it was more about black moods and psychological pain. That some days were just intolerable and "that" didn't feel like depression. He agreed, said I was very borderline between things (PTSD among them) so it was a hard call to make. Which is why he hasn't recommended an ad before and still doesn't. But he is willing to talk about it more if I want. He thinks this is really and truly a huge midlife crisis which has resulting into me "finally" dealing with the child abuse issues. It is complicated further by the situation of illness I live in every day and the job stresses I face. Oh, I'm so glad to be complicated and such a cliche!
I again expressed my desire to do three intense days of therapy and "be done with it." He agreed that it would be great if it could work like that. He also, again, cautioned me against forcing memories. He gets really worried about how deep into the black hole of despair I go. *sigh*
He did tell me again that I needed to do this work. That I *needed* to be in therapy, which helps alleviate some of the guilt about it being so self-serving and selfish. And that he was still here, doing it with me.
And I got a gold star for all the hard work we did yesterday: (we talked about sex) :)
How did your conversation go?
poster:DaisyM
thread:348279
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/348962.html