Posted by DaisyM on May 19, 2004, at 19:07:25
In reply to Got some bad news for you, CupCake :^) » DaisyM, posted by Racer on May 19, 2004, at 17:43:54
Racer,
We did talk about medication today, though the anxiety has abated somewhat. He had two thoughts (of course!) but is open to whatever I decide. He, like you, encouraged me to talk to my MD.
For the past few months I've been going to therapy 3xs a week mostly. We added in the third visit when things were really rough as "extra" support. Plus 2 days in a row worked well to open up something hard and work on it without it killing me waiting until the next session. But I've had it in my head that since the third session was "extra" I should get to a place where I don't need it. So I keep picking dates and saying things like "ok, I'll give up that slot on such and such a date." Up until now, he just cocks his head and says, "I'm not sure you are ready to do that, are you? Convince me." Today he said, "I think you need to call that slot your own. I'm not in a hurry to give it to anyone else and I think 3x a week, solid, might help you be less anxious about getting into some of the hard stuff." I, of course, joked that I thought we *were* into the hard stuff...but it does feel like a pressure is off to be "well enough" to give up that slot.
The other thing he said is that while medication might really help, he'd like me to consider using the anxiety in our work. Looking at what it is trying to tell me and talking it through. He said it might be uncomfortable but it could be really valuable if we listen to it. And he talked about centering myself, relaxing at the end of each session, to try to calm the anxiety. We tried that today and it was a good way to end.
He talked a lot about trust and letting him help me deal with whatever is coming up. He knows I'm still not telling him about everything. He respects that I'm not ready yet. Saying it out loud makes it so much more real. He told me again today that I *need* to do this work. It's important and not selfish but he knows it is very painful.
He's pretty great...have I mentioned that? :)
As always, thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you and the other Babblers.
poster:DaisyM
thread:348279
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/348697.html