Posted by Aphrodite on May 18, 2004, at 18:47:40
In reply to Therapist-permanence (long, windy, *sigh*), posted by DaisyM on May 18, 2004, at 16:13:12
Hi Daisy,
I went for a walk to think over your post. This is complicated. If you're anything like me, deadlines and goals are very important. I'm in a hurry to get everything done -- working, cleaning, even vacationing -- classic type A. So, naturally I'm in a hurry to be finished with therapy. I started posting here at my 6 month mark. I wanted to be finished then. It was with the help of all of you that I discovered I've only just begun.
So, you raise an important point, one I question myself all the time. Are you in a hurry to be well for you or for him? "Both" is my answer, and I think that is OK. If making your therapist happy means an incentive for you to get better, I think that works. Just be sure it's working mostly for you.
I wouldn't be the least be surprised if your anxiety isn't about the sex topic. You're getting close to the pain you thought you would be over by now. It could very well be a breakthrough, but since you are also pushing your therapist away some, you may not be ready or just rightfully terrified.
I really believe that your therapist isn't at all bored or frustrated with you. You know, I can't speak for other Babblers, but I look forward to your posts. I find you extremely interesting, and I have a keen interest in your progress. How much more magnified must that be with your therapist who sits across from you! I have asked my therapist a zillion times if he was frustrated with me, and I told him of course he would have to say he liked me, etc. What would he say -- "I'm so glad you brought this up. You are a total loser and a bore, and I'm glad when your session is over." So I pushed and asked, "If you really dreaded sessions with me, which of course you couldn't directly tell me, would I know?" And he said, "Absolutely. Things would be very messed up between us." And it's not. And things are not messed up with your therapist either.
Take your time. You'll go to the next level when you're ready, and keep asking him to reassure you that he'll be there.
(((Daisy)))
poster:Aphrodite
thread:348279
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/348333.html