Posted by DaisyM on May 23, 2004, at 19:21:47
In reply to Re: Survival Homework (long) » DaisyM, posted by terrics on May 23, 2004, at 14:24:48
This is the longest weekend of my life. I haven't written very much. I think I'm still worried about what is going to come through my fingers. I've been coping by trying to keep busy in other ways: I cleaned the WHOLE refrig, did the laundry, cleaned the house and sorted through my computer files. I also went to see Shrek II with my kids and my oldest moved home today for part of the summer from University.
In a weird way, Friday seems like a long time ago. Like it happened to someone else, or was a dream. I found myself wondering if my Therapist was real yesterday, or just some imaginary character that I invented or read a story about. When I'm alone, I feel so sad and lost. I think that is the kid part of me still hanging around. We've got a quiet truce going on...the pain comes and goes in waves.
I feel like I was sick and am now in that weak, recovering phase. Tears show up uninvited and unexpectedly. I'm not thinking to clearly and can't stay present for conversations. Scrabble was a disaster last night.
I keep imagining myself going to therapy tomorrow and saying, "I'm really sorry about the melt down on Friday. I wasn't myself. But I'm better now, I've got control over myself again." Think he'll let that fly?? Somehow, I doubt it. But I really don't know what to say about the whole episode.
Thanks for all the support you guys. I've reread your posts probably 20 times. They help hold me together in the hard moments and ground me. ((Babblers))
poster:DaisyM
thread:349340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/349969.html