Posted by JenStar on July 21, 2004, at 0:24:36
In reply to Re: Leaving Babble » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 22:57:29
Dinah, it might not be my place to chime in here (but of course I will anyway!) I don't think you should second guess yourself too much. Your posts are thoughtful, insightful and honest. You should not have to apologize for possible hurts, although it shows your sensitive tender side when you do this. You should not have to sugar coat your responses, as long as they are civil (they are) and friendly and rational (they are that too!)
The truth is, most of us here are vulnerable and needy (maybe more than most humans!), and it's hard to express emotion through typed words. People can get offended by something that was completely unintentional.
I think anyone who posts on this or any board needs to read responses or answers with a grain of salt - we have to have slightly thick skin!
Most people are NOT out to deliberately hurt anyone's feelings...I can tell this by all the tons of apologies and concerns about the health & welfare about others. I think most people here just want to be heard, want to be helpful, and feel terrible when they offend someone else.Elle, if you're not "safe" here then by all means take a break, and please come back when you feel right about it again. :)
Still, though, this board doesn't feel like a scary place. To me it still feels helpful & fun, and really really interesting. Tons of interesting people here.
Anyway, I'll show my attempts at being "thick skinned" by responding positively to any responses. :) (<--- smile!)
Take care, all, and happy thoughts to each of you.
JenStar
> Elle, I hope it isn't my doing. As I said, I wasn't intending to be mean. I have always enjoyed your posts and your kindness to others.
>
> When I declined to clarify, it was because of *me*. Because I have been trying and trying and trying to clarify. And trying to do what people seem to think is the right thing, and trying to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing, and everything I say just makes things worse. So I *have* to quit trying. And see, here I am doing it again. Trying to explain again. :( And it'll probably make things worse again. I just don't want to keep boring a deeper hole for myself with my words. I'm sorry that I realized that at the same time you posted to me. It was just bad timing, not ill intent on my part towards you. I actually did write a long post answering you, but realized that no matter what I said, it could be taken wrong. Or maybe I'm wording that wrong. I didn't have the skill with words to say things in such a way that they would be taken the way I intended.
>
> I hope you feel free to come back again, and I'm sorry for any misunderstandings.
>
> I have always and will always value any friendship you feel fit to show me. And I also understand if you don't feel too friendly towards me at the moment.
poster:JenStar
thread:368437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/368467.html