Posted by pegasus on July 22, 2004, at 12:46:54
In reply to Re: email contact after termination, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 22, 2004, at 8:36:05
I agree with falls rules also. As you've probably heard, I've been in this situation on the other end for a while now. Although, it's a bit different because my therapy was nowhere near ended, but my T had to move away. So, that was a very hard termination. Before he left, he told me that I could call or email him.
So, the way it has worked out is that I emailed him after about a month, and he wrote right back saying that he was glad to hear from me, and had felt the lack of communication, and giving me some info about his move and what a hard transition it was. I've emailed him about once every two weeks or so since then. I'm trying to taper that off now, and haven't written in about a month and a half. But I'm going to send him one today. ;)
He has responded to about half of my emails. He doesn't generally ask me questions, but he does usually send a fairly substantive email. He tells me that he's a poor correspondent, especially with email, and doesn't check for email every day. And sometimes forgets to reply, which doesn't mean that he doesn't care, just that he's busy. So, while I hate it when he doesn't reply, I do understand. And I'm glad he does that, rather than sending curt emails every time. He's also making a point to encourage my continued therapy, and development of a relationship with my new T. (He was very unhappy when I told him I'd quit with one T. I think he was worried that I'd try to stick to him like glue forever.) He's very clear that we're only in contact personally, and that we're not doing therapy, and that he doesn't want our contact to get in the way of me developing a relationship with my new T.
It's hard, and I do still feel somewhat dependent on him, and I'm sure the emails exacerbate that some. But, I'd have been devastated to have lost all contact with him when he moved. I don't know that I would have been willing to talk to other Ts if I had thought that the great relationship we built dissolved completely the instant he moved. I would have lost a lot of faith in therapeutic relationships in general. I was not ready to end therapy, and it broke my heart that I lost him right in the middle of everything. It would have been too much to completely lose the relationship along with the therapy. So, I think he did the right thing in my situation.
Just something to think about. Hope it's helpful.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:368821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/368987.html