Posted by Dinah on September 17, 2004, at 16:42:01
In reply to my ego state war, posted by Aphrodite on September 17, 2004, at 13:01:33
Aphrodite, no one is more at war with themselves than I am, but sometimes it's most productive to work together to make sure that needy you gets enough of what you need to not make trouble for corporate you. This doesn't necessary mean encouraging disclosure when disclosure is untimely, but it might mean presenting alternatives. For example, if he doesn't want the little girl to open up a fresh wave of memories when he won't be here to deal with them, he could gently explain that, and then offer alternatives that would enable the little girl to get nurturing or whatever it is she needs from him in another way. When a trip is imminent, we often spend bonding sessions. Perhaps she could share personal and intimate but low energy items with him. Favorite foods, best trip ever, etc. It's not unlike dealing with a child. Practicality and doing what works is usually your best bet. Find out the desired goal and try to find alternate ways to meet it. You could say something along the lines of"I know you don't want to be silenced, and I don't want to silence you. I just don't want you to be unhappy while the therapist is gone. What sort of things can you share with the therapist that won't leave you unhappy? I want you to be able to spend as much time as possible in session before the therapist goes. How about talking about how much you'll miss him instead?"
It may seem counterintuitive for coroporate you to indulge neediness, but sometimes it's practical and helps you get through a vacation with less distress, fewer distractions, and a greater ability to do work.
Don't be afraid to tell your therapist what you need. I tell mine all the time. He may or may not give it, but it helps him help me.
poster:Dinah
thread:391998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/392068.html