Posted by daisym on September 18, 2004, at 0:46:17
In reply to my ego state war, posted by Aphrodite on September 17, 2004, at 13:01:33
Gosh Aphrodite, I don't know what to say. I would be devastated too if my Therapist had given away my spot so quickly. It does seem that it is going to take some work on both your parts to get back to a place where there is more trust.
When I get to a place like this, I spend a lot of time working on the process and wondering (lamenting) about how hard it is for me to trust him. We don't talk about issues or history...and sometimes I apologize for this. My therapist will tell me "this IS the work" building trust and taking care of our relationship. Here's the other thing...I tend to increase my sessions when I feel this. Mostly because I HATE feeling disconnected from him. And I will ask for "permission" to be more needy, or to avoid certain stressors. We do this dance of me expressing the war between my two halfs and he will interpret both sides for the other and then usually ask me what is the worse thing that would happen if I let myself trust him. I've told him all the "worst" things. But it was a really good way to get past some of the more "pride" issues that were holding me back.
I'm sorry she has to wait. I would suggest that you let her write him a letter while he is gone and tell as much as she can in the letter. That way she doesn't have to hold it in for such a long time. And I would let her tell your therapist how much she is going to miss him. I know that will be hard for you but it will give your theraist the opportunity to reassure her (and you) that he will be back and you WILL continue to work together.
Just let her talk about what she needs. I know (really, really, I know) how hard that will be.
Hang in there. You will reform the bond and then test it and test it and test it. It is part of the process.
poster:daisym
thread:391998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/392221.html