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Re: Daisym, Fallsfall, Annierose » daisym

Posted by shrinking violet on October 31, 2004, at 10:52:04

In reply to Re: Daisym, Fallsfall, Annierose » shrinking violet, posted by daisym on October 30, 2004, at 15:14:21

Thank you Daisy, I appreciate your concern. And you're right...I'm not sure what else to say because I DO blame myself, I know that it IS my fault because I couldn't talk to her and because I react irrationally to situations, and she has every right to be sick of it. True, I can't control her behavior, but I also contribute to it in some way. I cause her reactions by being so difficult, etc.

Thank you Daisy. I appreciate your thoughts. I'll try my best to keep them in mind.

SV


> SV,
>
> I hope she does too. BUT, if she doesn't, I want you to go back to your original email and reread what you wrote. You had very good reasons for stopping and they were about her and not you. I'm concerned that you've turned this all around to be "your fault" and if she declines to restart that you will take this as evidence that you are bad or hopeless. You aren't either. Circumstances are often out of our control, as in, you can't control her behavior, only how you responded to it. Please hear me, I hope she does see you at least one more time. But I really do think you have to be careful about how big you've now built this up. You miss her, you hurt and so it is easy to take it on yourself because it hurts even more to "blame" her.
>
> Just me worrying about you...
> Daisy


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poster:shrinking violet thread:407966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409538.html