Posted by crushedout on November 2, 2004, at 21:04:35
In reply to Is it my therapist...or me?, posted by Bent on November 1, 2004, at 14:30:29
Interesting thread for me, because I just told my T I was taking a two-week break from her. I can imagine what you're going through is very painful because I've struggled with feeling like taking a break (often because I feel rejected, or angry and want to hurt her, often just because I think it's best for me) and have never really been able to make the move till now. It feels good, but I know this time I'm doing it for the right reason, and my expectations are realistic. I.e., I'm not hoping she'll run after me and beg me to stay, and in fact, I've set it up so that she doesn't communicate with me unless absolutely necessary. Which is a healthy way for me to protect myself.
The consultant I'm seeing about therapy with her made an excellent point, which is that this is probably going to be painful for me whatever I end up doing (I'm trying to figure out whether to end therapy altogether). Because if I decide to leave and she lets me go easily, I'll likely feel discarded and abandoned and unloved. If she "convinces" me to stay, I'll feel manipulated once again, but also cherished and loved by her. But I may still feel stuck in my transference bind.
Anyway, I thought this might be connected in some way to the feelings you're having that she wants to get rid of you. She may just want to let you go, if that's what you think's best, but we're likely to take that as a rejection, even if it's really not.
I hope this post makes sense. Sorry if I've rambled.
poster:crushedout
thread:410145
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/410854.html