Posted by Smeegle on February 8, 2005, at 0:10:55
It have only just begun to open up to my pdoc (also my T) about what is really going on in my mind. I held back quite a bit (including serious suicidal thoughts and even one failed attempt). Eventually even I was afraid for my own safety (and the added risk that I needed to get stablized before my marriage was completely destroyed). My primary reason for holding back was a fear of him hospitalizing me. I am not so much concerned about the being in the hospital part, as I am about the stigma attached and that it would forever be on my medical records. I worry that it would come back to haunt me one day way down the road some day. To me this sounds rational, but I still wonder. Part of me says why should I care, if I am sick I need help. Sometimes giving in and going inpatient really sounds like a good idea. But I have no concept of what that would entail. What happens when one goes inpatient? How long would a typical stay entail? (my insurance limits to 30 inpatient days per year so I know it would be less than that). I am not psychotic, and I am not a threat to anyone other than myself (and not even that...not today anyhow). So many times I have wanted so much to truely open completely up, but can't seem to get past this issue. Insight anyone? I know everyone's situation is unique and no two cases are the exact same. But I need to hear it from this side of things from people who have been there, done that.
Smeegs
poster:Smeegle
thread:454802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/454802.html