Posted by 10derHeart on December 7, 2005, at 12:44:05
In reply to Re: So.....how DO you sit?!, posted by Tamar on December 7, 2005, at 7:26:56
>...so I sat with one ankle on the opposite knee (did I describe that so that people know what I mean?). I think it’s actually a very masculine and dominant position to sit in, and my therapist never mirrored it, although it wouldn’t have bothered me. It was simply comfortable for me. <<
I never thought of it as masculine. Interesting. Why masculine? Do men sit this way more often? Is is (usually is...) something about exposing *that* particular area, some message we might be unconsciously giving? That we're not afraid? Or we're open to them in the most intimate way possible (meant more symbolically, not so much literally...others' mileage may vary on this though..!!!) Must be...makes sense, but then agian... Hmm, I usually do pay attention to body language in lots of settings, but I haven't read up on it in quite a few years. It's pretty fascinating to me, though.
>But I don’t think I’ve ever seen another woman sit like that.<
Haven't met me yet, have you? ;-) I always sit like that - probably about 80% of the time in therapy anyway. And a lot in places outside of therpy. It feels casual and comfortable to me. When I don't, I may hug a pillow and cross my legs at the ankles for a while, but I do notice this makes me more withdrawn, quiet and uncertain of what to say. And that's actually uncomfortable when I'm trying to really tell him the honest things I'm thinking/feeling....so, the left ankle goes back up on the right knee again (with the foot often *jiggling* faster, slower...depending on how anxious I am.)
I think it has a lot to do with the fact I *never* wear a dress or skirt, either, so I am free to sit that way, and I do like that freedom.
He does mirror this position of mine almost always, too. The foot *jiggling* and all, mind you! We haven't talked about it yet, but we should. ('cept once I recall teasing him about his "foot speed," which made him immediately stop doing it that session ;-) ) Lord only knows where that talk might lead....yikes!
This is a favorite topic of mine. Great thread!
poster:10derHeart
thread:586236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586491.html