Posted by bent on January 3, 2006, at 11:30:02
In reply to Re: what to do with the pain, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 11:02:13
Thanks. Not many people in my life understand, I think thats why I read here so much. Just before the holidays I was really dissappointed in my mom, which is not unusal. I have always had to be my parents parent meaning I feel like I want a parent now. I know my mom loves me and wants the best for me she just isnt a good mom and doesnt know how damaging she is to her children - even tho we are all adults now. But back to what I was saying...I think over the holidays it really hit me. That I need to see my mom for who she is and that means I might just have to let go of that longing of wanting a better mom. It was almost like something is dying in me that i never really had in the first place. I guess I will have to grieve this like a loss. But anyway, maybe this is what's made me want to latch on to my T so much. Of course I havent told her about any of this. She is very open to phone calls (i think I have called her 6 times in 3 years) but sometimes my feelings are best expressed through writing. I am wondering if writing her a letter would help. Part of me wants her to know how much I am hurting right now though! But at the same time another part of me is saying just quit, then it wont hurt.
poster:bent
thread:594738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/594749.html