Posted by daisym on January 4, 2006, at 23:40:16
In reply to I guess when you sleep all day, you can't sleep, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 21:37:27
OR...when you are incredibly upset it is hard to sleep. I hope you fall asleep and sleep all night.
I've been trying to catch up on things and I feel like I've missed something. How did this get so out of hand?
Please excuse my brief synopsis but I'm trying to put the pieces together.You had a fairly tough session where you weren't connecting and he was grumpy. He was rude and short with you when you were scheduling. You called and left a message telling him you were upset. He called and apologized, said he was stressed about his medical appointment. Upon further reflection, you decided you didn't want to wait two weeks so you phoned for an appointment. He heard, "call me if you have an opening" but what you said/meant was "I don't want to wait two weeks, so please call me so we can figure out how I don't have to sit with all of this." After an additional message, you left another, cancelling everything and telling him to leave you alone. He called back one more time to try to figure out what was really going on. You haven't returned that call and don't intend to.
Is this right?
It seems to me that one bad session shouldn't destroy a year's worth of work. You owe yourself more than this kind of ending. I totally understand the need to protect yourself. I am the queen of pull in and away from hurt. But your posts sound like you've got clear evidence that he wants to terminate you. And I just don't think you do. I think he had a bad day, you got hurt and you've globalized this as intentional, purposeful and precipitated by you. While you might be right, this just doesn't sound like the therapist you've written about all this time.
I'm going to encourage you to step back and really look at what you know and separate that from what you are guessing at. Then call up and reclaim your appointment time. Tell him exactly what you've been thinking, how you feel and why you think he doesn't want to work with you anymore. My guess is this will be hard, involve tears and ultimately result in learning a great deal about yourself.
I wish it didn't hurt. But don't quit. Work through it. Again -- you owe it to yourself.
poster:daisym
thread:595172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/595386.html