Posted by jammerlich on January 5, 2006, at 13:41:12
In reply to Still can't deceide on what to do, posted by happyflower on January 5, 2006, at 12:59:09
I'm sorry this is so hard. It sounds like his not calling you back, on top of his behavior at your last appointment, has left you feeling like he doesn't want to work with you anymore. Is that right? If it is, you must be feeling very hurt.
I think that because we don't really know our T's in a well-rounded way like we do others in our lives, we can tend to put a LOT of emphasis on the little bits we do get. And because so much of the therapy process is about us, we tend to attribute any disconnect to something we did or something they feel about us. But really it isn't always about us at all. They're human too and have their own crud to deal with. Sometimes it really sucks for us though, doesn't it? Please don't think I'm trying to justify any mistakes he made, because I'm not. I'm just trying to offer another perspective.
I think he probably told you he still has your next appointment on his books because he hopes you'll show up for it. He's giving you an opportunity to sit on it awhile and change your mind if you want to. And you know, if he really didn't want to work with you anymore, the fact that you called and said you weren't coming back would have made that really easy for him to do. He could have taken you off his books and never looked back. But he didn't. And I think that means something.
So, if it were me, I think I'd try really hard to make it to that next appointment. Even if it's only to tell him exactly how you're feeling. Showing up doesn't mean you have to continue therapy with him. You can quit after that if you still feel it necessary.
In the meantime, can you try to do something really nice for yourself today? I think happyflower needs that. Maybe some hot cocoa or a good, funny movie?
poster:jammerlich
thread:595467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/595484.html