Posted by B2chica on May 19, 2006, at 16:17:28
In reply to cognitive dissonance, posted by llrrrpp on May 19, 2006, at 15:47:18
this sounds like a CBT topic for sure.
i'm afraid i don't have any words of wisdom but can i relate.i really relate to this:
>>They would say "CONgraTULAtions!!!!" and another piece of me dies inside.i just recently graduated getting a master's. did a research project for my final project/thesis, which i enjoyed doing but...
but i HATED the ceremony and even telling anyone i was done (which i didn't but my husband did) because there would be that congratulatory "you must be so proud"...NO!!! i wanted to scream! i'm not happy! i'm MISERABLE! it took me way too long to graudate (due to a couple hospitalizations and therapy-my stupid fault-showing yet another failure as a human being), my research paper isn't published, it's like all that work is moot in my eyes. I'm just one more USELESS graduate!
Not to mention i want to CRINGE everytime someone says how happy i must me and i want to say 'but you don't understand...see..i S@CK!!! so it doensn't matter. another stupid piece of paper so my boss is happy, that's all.
now i'm slow, affectively impaired, damaged, useless AND i have a piece of paper saying i should be worth something but guess what! IT"S WRONG!! see, one more let down.>>Success throws one into the limelight, and the light shines into a dark place, and it burns.
EXCELLENT way to put this.
again, i have no words to help but please know i understand.
(sorry for the rant)
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:645964
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645984.html