Posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 5:45:57
In reply to Re: disordered thinking, part 2 trigger » llrrrpp, posted by canadagirl on May 21, 2006, at 21:26:33
Well, I sent T an e-mail last night. Then I had dreams that I was going to be carted off to hang out with Bree and Hannibal Lecter in a lovely dank psych ward with brightlights and nasty male nurses. I kept on thinking the phone was going to ring at any minute and the worst thing is that it did ring at about midnight. (wrong number)
I hardly slept a wink, and it's only 5:30am and I'm up and I'm shaking. I must have been having some really bad dream when I woke up, because my heart was POUNDING. I don't know what it was about though.
I just reread my e-mail last night. It's pretty no-frills honest. It's the truth, and it's not exaggerated, but it's complete enough and sounds pretty serious. I think if I was a T and got this e-mail I'd do something right away. I guess I sent an e-mail because I know he won't check it until he goes to work. I don't even know if he works on mondays. I have all day though, my schedule is wide open. No appt. that's more important to me than the one that might save my life.
Well, I'm rambling, but what else can I do at 5:30 on monday morning. I'll go to a cafe later on and drink some T (no muffin for me, though. the hunger strike is working. I had a couple of peaches yesterday, and a glass of milk, because I didn't want to get leg cramps... still)
Your posts mean a lot to me. I started crying a few times when I read them. I hadn't even been able to cry, so the tears were a relief. I'm human, I can grieve for myself. And they help me know I'm not alone.
poster:llrrrpp
thread:646531
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/646792.html