Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 18, 2007, at 10:10:41
In reply to Li's worry list [and MidB], posted by ElaineM on January 17, 2007, at 22:43:09
Hi Elaine,
I'm really worried about you feeling compelled to keep someone's secrets. You seem like such a caring person, would you want your "t" to abuse another client as he is abusing you? I think that you have a responsibility to yourself to get better. That is your main responsibility. Your body seems to be back on track (thank GOD) but your psyche is headed down a path that you would not wish upon your worst enemy. I think that sometimes you sacrifice yourself, and you feel more comfortable in the role where you are being abused. ((((Elaine)))) it doesn't have to be that way. You are really a strong person. You don't even know how strong you are. I think you have so many wonderful gifts to share with others. You can really make someone's life better, starting with your own.First you must learn to trust again. Please, I know what it's like to be brainwashed into keeping dirty secrets. But the truth will set you free. You've often wished that he would get help for himself, but there is a way that you can make it happen. You've been incredibly supportive of others on psycho-babble, including me. You have said things to me when I was down that made me feel warm and hopeful inside. I am so grateful for your presence and your gifts.
Sometime, maybe this year or next year or whenever, a young woman with issues and uncertainties may seek treatment from your "t". She might not be as strong as you are. She might not have your words and your bravery to seek out crisis counsellor. "t" might start playing mind tricks on her, because he is lonely and disturbed. Things could end badly for this young woman.
You have the courage to prevent this from happening. You might not believe that you have the courage, but you CAN do this. It will be a big step towards you healing yourself. You may not think you're worth it, but you are. Your "t" is worth it too. He needs help, and he is confused and isolated and doesn't understand what he's doing professionally or in his personal life. You can help him too. And you can help the young women of the future.
Please save my thoughts and consider them carefully. There may be a day when you wake up and you can take the bundle of disturbing e-mails and you can give them to somebody who will be there for you (and who will help your "t" too.)
You know that you're not a professional psychologist. You have a lot of insight, but your "t" is your first project, and it's just too much to take on as a beginner. You should allow him to graduate to more serious treatment, even if he may be sanctioned. Breaking the law has consequences, and he has had many opportunities to stop his unlawful behavior. He's not just hurting himself, he's hurting you, and he's hurting his other clients too.
you're a good person Elaine. You're smart, and wise, and very big-hearted,
best wishes to you,
-Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:721410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/723596.html