Posted by jammerlich on July 11, 2007, at 17:46:56
In reply to Re: Jammer, how's it going? » jammerlich, posted by TherapyGirl on July 11, 2007, at 17:29:20
Yes, that is VERY much what it's like for me and I will NEVER get tired of people here knowing exactly what I'm talking about. While it sucks that other people are in the same boat, it helps so much to know I'm not alone with it.
You're so right about the time it takes to dismantle those walls again. If she takes another vacation this summer, it'll be months before we get anything accomplished. It's awful, longing for her so much when she's sitting right there. And even asking all the right questions. But all I can do is mutter, "I don't know" or "It was hard" while all kinds of detailed things are screaming in my head.
I also think part of it is that I can tell by the things she says and does that she really heard some the the "complaints" I raised before she left and is making an effort to do things differently. It feels wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I'm overwhelmed that she's doing it and have no idea how to respond to it. Then, I get frustrated with myself for acting all retarded when she does exactly what I asked. I wonder if part of the "terror" is the idea that she might do other things I want, too? (Probably followed by my acting even more like a freak)
You couldn't pay me enough money to be my T.
poster:jammerlich
thread:768922
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/769023.html