Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 17:05:04
I just had a session over a week ago, I have been feelings lots of stuff, remembering lots of stuff that I had forgotten. Feeling lost, I need my T , but he is out of the country. So I go to the library to search for something, anything to make me feel good.
Well I found a book written by a T who experienced EMDR during training. Usually you learn how, by being in groups of 3, ones does the EMDR, one is the client and the other is the observer. Well they are asked to use a bad memory from the past, but not a really bad one to focus on during the eye movements. Well she experienced what I did, that the minor memory wasn't anything compaired to what was brought up. I just related so much to what she was saying, I was in tears, and I almost have read the entire book today. It is very well written, more of like her personal experiences as a client of having EMDR, and her experiences as being a T and using it on her own clients. I am just amazed at it all.
I know my feelings lately is part of the treatment I had last week. The book is by Laurel Parnell and it is called Transforming Trauma EMDR.Okay this is the triggering part, so don't read if you are triggered by child abuse or animal cruelty anything
Well the memory I was concentrating on in my last session was me performing a solo at my last jazz ensemble concert.
Well during EMDR, you think about how your body felt along with the memory.
Well that feelings brought back memories of the last time I failed on stage when I was 13 or so. The laughter I heard when she repeatedly played that vcr tape over and over. She said I was such a loser , etc.
Well that feeling I felt went back to when I was much younger maybe 4 or 5 when she used to take daddy long legs spiders and rip off some of their legs and made them walk. She used to laugh and warned me she would do that to me when I was bad.
can you imagine the fear I must have felt and I wanted to save the spiders from her. I felt so sorry for the crippled spiders.
I guess that explains my intense fear of spiders, and I really get upset when people joke about animal cruelity or do that stuff to animals.
poster:slugdoo
thread:770778
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770778.html