Posted by B2chica on July 24, 2007, at 11:29:25
In reply to (((((B2chica)))))) » B2chica, posted by jammerlich on July 24, 2007, at 10:14:47
i think honestly, i'm nervous about talking to her. she isn't fully aware of the abuse. she knows there was some csa...and she kinda know who...but i don't know if she knows...well, i never mentioned specifics if you know what i mean. and she may only think there was 'surface' abuse.
she also doesn't know that i was molested by a few other people over the years, though most were isolated incidents.per/person...as it were.
and well. quite frankly, i've just always felt that it must be me if it happened by several people over several years...something i must be inviting. i know logically now, (from babblers) that this is not supposed to be true...but.
add that insecurity to still not very trusting of women...and it makes it VERY hard to talk to her.but if i were to call, ya, earlier in the day would probably be better. but she normally has back to back appointments so i think she only checks her messages once a day or so.
then again, i will have tomorrow off to be with little one, so TECHNICALLY i would have all day that she could call me.
but do i want to open it up again? right when i'm starting to form this nice little scab??
since i won't officially see her till 8/9/07oh...these stupid decisions.
you'd think i could decide whether or not to make a stupid phone call. but i'm lucky if i can decide to go to the bathroom or not right now.
:(
poster:B2chica
thread:771390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771611.html