Posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2007, at 20:32:06
Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been around. I was on vacation and am just catching up. I had a session today and wanted to tell everyone. I left feeling soooo close to him. I want to say right now that this is the first time in a while I've felt like this and I really don't want lectures about boundary crossings - I know some people might have a problem with this, but it's absolutely therapeutic in its intention and felt right to me.Today I was getting overwhelmed and dissociating a lot. He kept trying to pick topics to bring me back, but it wasn't working. I kept going away. Finally I stayed, but I got really scared. I was able to pull out of it for a second when he asked some questions about something else, but I slipped back into it again.
He was trying to think of something we could do so I didn't leave feeling scared, because I typically fall apart and cry for hours after the session if I leave feeling how I was. So he asked if he had ever told me that he had a music studio. He hadn't, and he asked me if I wanted to hear one of his songs. I said sure, and so he played it for me and explained how he was playing all the instruments and how he could put them together. Then when it was done he said I could keep the CD! So I have it. I like it, it's grounding to me. And it was such a good idea to bring me back into the room.
He told me that now I had the real part of him, the part that's hard to describe. It's a part of me I express in poetry and artwork, and he said he expresses it through making music. He said he's never played one of his songs for anyone.
I left feeling really close to him, and I still do. It was such a hard session otherwise. The prospect of 'divorcing' my mother frightens me so so much, and even considering that she really is unstable scares me.
Wow, this got long. Anyway, reactions are appreciated. Just try not to judge, please. It's hard to describe it unless you were there.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:771730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771730.html