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Is avoidance really so bad?

Posted by Dinah on September 6, 2007, at 9:38:28

I know I'm avoiding talking about the issues that arise from living in New Orleans right now. Partly because my therapist is not only also affected, but he's far less than positive. He moved a long daily commute away, and I think he's even more negative in order to justify to himself why he's driving hours each day.

But partly because there's really nothing I can do, so surely it's better not to think about it. We've committed to stay here at least until my son graduates. There are no decisions to be made. My husband wouldn't be willing to do a long commute even if I was. So why not try, as much as possible, to tuck it out of my mind? To refuse to think about hurricanes in the Gulf, or declining home values, or rising crime rates, economic drain, or widespread areas of unrestored and possibly unrestorable homes and businesses. Our immediate area is not that bad. We have access to the necessities and even the small luxuries of life.

Then something comes along and knocks the air out of me for a bit. Like the comment in TV guide on the new series Kville, set in worse areas in New Orleans than I'm in. The reviewer asked if we really want to go to such a dark place each week. And even though I know that dark place isn't really where I am, and that I'm lucky, and that my neighbors really have the right to be depressed about it, and I don't, still it feels like a kick to the stomach. But I berate myself for feeling that way. I am really so lucky.

But if I talk to my therapist about it, I'm pretty sure he'll more than endorse feeling kicked in the stomach. I think he'll feel less guilty about it than I do. And somehow that won't feel helpful. There's nothing I can do about any of it anyway.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:781134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781134.html