Posted by rskontos on December 23, 2007, at 15:48:04
In reply to Re: sigh... » muffled, posted by seldomseen on December 23, 2007, at 14:38:53
This whole thread has for me enlightened me to my own issues which from my long session with new doc made me realize that my own issues have been from a long standing position of hurt. I haven't viewed it from a position of evil only because I have used total dissociation from it as a way to shield myself totally. Intimacy as Caraher put it is something I have always not wanted intimacy is something your parents should naturally teach you to have, there is all types of intimacy. When you don't learn how to have it, then it is tough to teach it to yourself. In my own marriage we have just stumbled along blindly. I am not sure how we have made it actually but it has cost me huge. I have alot of work to do in that arena as well Muffled. So don't feel alone. And I have been married almost 20 years. I don't ever really want to have sex I do because I should. Sometimes I actually want to but those times are so few. They do happen, my husband always wants to know how and why so he could try and recreate those circumstances but I don't know. He tries to be as understanding as possible. He realized a long time ago that marriage is more that sex and he does value that. He would like more often but accepts my limitations. Without understanding why. I need to tell him more and will try at some point. I got mad at one point and told him it was my right to feel the way I felt and he could just lump it. And he realized that I was right. It was a turning point. So talking does help even if you can't explain everything which I haven't he knows about no parts yet. Just that I am depressed and you cant do that when depressed.
He knows that therapy is suppose to help with all of me. So he is hopeful.
I hope we both feel stronger and more peaceful in this area one day. Remember Rome was not built in a day. All things in time. Dont stress so much and don't worry bout everyone except Muffled. It is good you worry bout DH but worry bout Muffled too. I know you will try when you can. You can only do so much at one time. Too much will blow your mind. So take it one thing at a time. dont let guilt make you try too much too soon either . ok......
((((((((((((Muffled)))))))))
rskBut this good I think bout stuff too and it is all good too.
poster:rskontos
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802294.html