Posted by Daisym on March 5, 2008, at 22:15:58
In reply to I dunno, but... » DAisym, posted by Racer on March 5, 2008, at 21:43:52
One of the things I came up with today was that I was mad at him because he couldn't just make me feel better. BUT - if he gave me a list of things that he thought I should do in order to feel better, I'd read the list and either decide he really doesn't like me or I'd resent being told what to do - kind of like, "did you think *I* didn't think of that?!" He can't win.
I've been thinking about this (and not paying attention at a board meeting) - maybe it is still about reassurance. Kind of like an old married couple who show each other that they care but they don't say it anymore. I think everyone begins to doubt if they don't actually hear what is going on in the other person's head. So he thinks I know it is OK to need him, and I begin to think that since he doesn't say, "call me" - I shouldn't need to anymore!
I think if I was "supposed" to call, it would be a whole different story. I'm good at doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm scared of needing or wanting something from someone that I'm not sure I'm allowed to have or how much of it is my share.
Aren't we a pair?
poster:Daisym
thread:816442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/816476.html