Posted by frida on May 28, 2008, at 8:11:15
In reply to I don't know what I'm feeling tonight....., posted by LadyBug on May 27, 2008, at 21:41:41
Dear Ladybug,
this brought tears to my eyes.
I hoped that your T would say/do something to change this situation..11 years is a lot of time, of growing, sharing, connection..
I can't understand what's wrong with her, why couldn't she make a greater effort to fight for this.
i am so so sorry...I wish you could feel connected to your T and have her in your life...i'd be so devastated if my T didn't try to make things work after everything that happened...
i am so so sorry
hugs,
Frida
> I think I'm grieving. I saw my T. I told her how I feel and told her I didn't know if I would come back in Sept. when my insurance kicks in again. She said when I left "take good care of yourself". As I was going to get on the freeway I rolled down the windows in my car and through the wind I said good bye to 11 plus years of my life. I let it blow through my hair and right out the window. I left her in the back of my mind and let her blow away.
> That's all I can say for tonight. I don't know how to feel. I told her I was 99% sure I wouldn't be back in Sept and I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what the hell happened to us. I told her how much she meant to me and how strong I felt our connection was at some points and that before I wished when I walked out the door I could feel connected to her again like it's been. I told her I could feel a lot of negativity in the room coming from both of us. She didn't deny it, but she agreed. I told her that when she told me she showed me too much sympathy with my daughters pregnancy and adoption of the baby, I pulled in and put up a wall between us and that I didn't know if I could ever let that wall down to work with her again.
> Oh, how I have regrets and it hurts. She meant the world to me. It's just another loss, first my marriage, then I mentally lost both my parents, the adoption of my first grandchild, and now her. That's a lot of loss to suffer in a 8 or 9 month time frame. The people I loved with all my heart are gone from my life.
> Sad and Lonely LadyBug
>
poster:frida
thread:831520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/831598.html