Posted by Happyflower on May 28, 2008, at 10:10:40
This is something me and my T talked about last week. Why PTSD feels so bad it that you feel vulnerable again to the past. Anyone who has been abused especially as a child knows this feeling. It is so scary. All I would need to happen is my mom showing up at my doorstep, a phone call, a letter sent, or even hearing from my grandma can put me in a state of fear. Fear for my life, for my families life. It feels like being trapped with no where safe to go. As I child I was told nobody would believe me if I told, so I didn't plus being threatened with my life helped keep it a secret. I was like a trapped abused animal. Secrets that are even hard to tell 30 years later.
I wonder if it is possible to recover from this, to take away the triggers that have been ingrained into my memory, my being. My T says I will never forget, but he thinks he can help take away the triggers. I just don't know it seems like the only way for that to happen will be when I know my mom is dead. But I guess memories can still haunt you till you die, so can you really escape your past?
poster:Happyflower
thread:831625
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/831625.html