Posted by rskontos on May 28, 2008, at 13:04:36
In reply to Re: my grandma,the bitch of insane mom SA trigge » Phillipa, posted by Happyflower on May 28, 2008, at 12:38:51
Happyflower
My mother has been gone for 20 years and I still suffer the PTSD sideeffects. I only recently started to understand the effects of my childhood and my mother's hold over me so being dead did not end her ability to cause me pain and have a hold over my behavior. It has only been in therapy did I learn to deal with the effects of the trauma, and the knowledge of how it affected me and learn to try to face it head on especially to see how it has caused me and my brain to react and how I have acted accordingly. I did not know about my inners for one thing. I don't know about everything in my head yet, I still have flashbacks I can't explain and I haven't recovered my memories but I am getting some parts back. So no death did not do it for me.
But a part of me is glad she is dead. I think sometimes that makes me a bad person. My father is still alive and we have a bad relationship. I pretend with him but to call him out on his part in all this would not serve either of us so WTF would it help. So I continue the sham of our relationship. But I protect myself more.
Sorry you are having a hard time, must be in the phases of the moon. I too am not doing so hot. What goes down must go up right. So we have to be having a good day soon.
((((Happyflower))))))))))
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:831625
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/831673.html