Posted by Dinah on June 7, 2008, at 9:38:04
In reply to Re: Talk of hypothetical termination, posted by Daisym on June 7, 2008, at 1:24:19
It was good to get the unspoken into the room. Sometimes with him and with my husband, I suspect I'm more than usually semipsychic.
I now think I have a better idea at where he is in the leaving department. And since he doesn't actually lie to me, at this point it doesn't seem like he's planning to go anywhere even if our sessions might be inconvenienced. Although if a really good job was available elsewhere, he'd probably jump on it. :(
I guess I can sort of understand, if I take myself out of the picture. If he terminated me, I'd want to pick up my family and run to another city, I think. At the least. But I just can't be understanding when it means my therapist/mommy abandoning me.
It was easier to discuss because he was really wonderful. He was calmly open and receptive, and let me say whatever horrible things I was thinking, accepting them calmly and acknowledging them. And he used the gentle humor that works so well with me.
For example, I did bring up my old more extreme plan of what to do if he terminated me. And said that while it wasn't currently my intention, if I was surprised and very very angry what if I forgot it wasn't my plan? I reminded him of the last circular argument we had, where he said he couldn't have people from the loony bin skulking outside to cart me off. He'd have to have my husband come with me. But I told him as soon as my husband said he'd been told to come with me, he would have effectively terminated me. So he teased that he'd have to ask me to meet him at the emergency room for our session, but I reminded him that saying that would also be a termination. So he started coming up with fanciful ways to manage to get me to come to the emergency room for the session. Not only did it make me smile, but it brought home that if he was teasing me so lightheartedly about it, then he really couldn't be thinking he'd need to worry about it. So that was reassuring.
He was also great when we talked about the other two therapists. He didn't try to cover up that I probably came across as a bit odd to them. But he also somehow made it sound as if while it might be natural for them to react the way they did, it wasn't right or correct for me. And it may sound horrible, but it wasn't when he did it.
At one point I said it was too hard to continue, and he promptly said we could stop talking about it at once. Clever therapist. He wants to talk about it again another session. I don't know...
I'll take the names, I guess. And hide them somewhere. Although it's very hard to think of a therapist who wasn't him. I think I'd constantly be thinking "You aren't X. :("
I don't *think* there was anything to be proud of me for. I was petulant and mulish and angry and more angry.
I think there's a heck of a lot to admire in him though, to make such a discussion bearable.
poster:Dinah
thread:833380
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/833444.html