Posted by rskontos on June 16, 2008, at 13:49:30
In reply to Re: saw T again dissociated again;(, posted by muffled on June 14, 2008, at 23:31:37
Muffled is right. It does, at least for me, get really messy before it gets better. A case in point. Friday I went out with my daughter to an outing I was looking forward to. I won't go into the specifics but I got triggered in a big way by my daughter. I will say that in looking back as I did in my therapy and afterwards, I believe that probably there were five of my parts out trying to all protect me in this situation. It was messy to say the least. And I kept coming back in between the switching. And for once I did not keep up with the conversation so I would be speaking and switch and not know what the hell to say so i would stumble and they would be looking at me while I searched for a word and then I would switch to someone that knew what was being discussed and you get the picture. I can't tell you how many times I switched. I sensed so many I can't tell how many. I did come back to realize partially I was saying something to one of the guys there I had no business saying but at least his wife liked what i said to him but I would have NEVER said that to a stranger. But before I could be too upset I was gone again. And finally after it was all over and I got home, I had the worst headache. I felt so loose and unable to feel the world in general. It took me two days to feel better. And I felt so flat and sad and so disconnected. And to make it worse I felt like for the first time people noticed. I felt I acted weird. We tried to figure out what happened today in therapy. But I just can't tell him because I don't know all the particulars. I wasn't there for all the time. M an this stuff sucks sometimes.
I have faced some things but there are a lot of stuff I know still buried. Now whether I want or need to face it is up for grabs.
I do know how you feel there girl.
Hang in there.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:834543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/834910.html