Posted by Partlycloudy on July 29, 2008, at 19:36:30
In reply to Re: That reframing thing » Partlycloudy, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 18:56:18
> PArtlyCLoudy,
> You are such an amazing person. What a break through- you HAVE been working so hard.My T was extra careful in prefacing today's session by telling me it might be hard. In the end, though, it felt like a grand release. Obviously, this is something that I have been working towards for some time (and without any clue that I'd be doing so - DOH!). Yet she guided me quite gently to the place I ended up at, and I feel empowered by it; not less than, the person I was when I walked in today. That's powerful stuff. (I hope she brags about it to her peers.)
>
> My T was talking today about how hard it is (but important) that we, as adults, come to view our parents as we would any other adult. Quirky, flawed, miserable to hang out with, hilarious, etc -- and to decide our level of involvement based on our assessment of them right now. I kind of like this step of pre-forgiveness.
>The great part is that I don't believe I have to do anything outwardly in this process - I don't have to behave any differently towards my mother, or try to cultivate a different relationship. She's got some pretty severe limitations in the degree of intimacy that she's able to achieve with any of her children (or her siblings, for that matter) - she's much more at ease with complete strangers. I'm OK with that now. That's the most forgiving that I'm willing to do at the moment, but I sense that it is huge.
> (((((((((partlycloudy)))))))))))
>
> you have an intact and strong heart. You are deep and sensible and have a quiet wisdom. THAT stuff does not go away when you start to sever ties to your "story"
>
> hugs for you,
> -Ll(((((((Llurpsienoodle))))) right back to you. Thanks for sharing this journey with me. I feel so grateful for being able to do this.
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:842886
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/842920.html