Posted by Nadezda on August 3, 2008, at 11:36:49
In reply to Re: lying to therapist. » antigua3, posted by Amanda29 on August 2, 2008, at 18:50:49
Hi, Amanda. Can I just suggest an opposing view? I think it's important to tell your T and work through the issue of his wanting you to join a group.
First of all, by keeping the secret, you open yourself up to other, secretive slips-- none of which you'll feel you can tell him, because it will open up the issue of your prior dishonesty.
Second of all, you deprive yourself of a support system, ie your therapist, who is there to help you when you make mistakes, do things you don't think are healthy etc. If you keep yourself from this help now, what will you do if you do even more destructive things? This could be relatively minor-- but how will you admit more serious problems, if you can't go to him now.
Third, he can't "force" you to go to a group. On the other hand, if he, someone you trust and whose opinion you respect (I hope), tells you that he thinks, in all truth, that you need that support-- which a group can give-- maybe you need to consider it. The fact that you're afraid even to allow him any voice on this-- suggests to me that you know, and don't like, the idea that you may need to go to a group-- which, I guess, isn't consistent with your self-image.
Fourth, what's so terrible about going to a group? why would it be so hurtful to your self-image? you have been addicted to something; there's no shame in going to a group and working to maintain your accomplishments-- with other people who are dedicated to the same thing. Don't you respect others in such a group? I would, personally-- I think it's heroic to make the effort and to go through the struggle, even if it's difficult to go.
I sense that something's really not quite right with this situation--- and I hope you don't mind my asking these questions.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:843737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/843876.html