Posted by Nadezda on August 4, 2008, at 12:54:57
and I feel really lonely.
Plus, I've been spending a lot of time on Second Life, the virtual reality space, where I've met a lot of people, but not become close or even friends with anyone. I think it's more me than the place, but of course I can't be sure what anyone else is doing. People say they have such wonderful relationships there, although I'm not sure what that means-- but for whatever reason (and I do wonder, rather demoralizingly, what that reason is)-- I haven't made even one vaguely personal connection.
Despite that, I enjoyed going there, but since my T left, I really haven't wanted to. Which is good, because it's a huge waste of time-- and I've been more productive since I cut down (only about three days-- he's been away about a week and a half)--but I"m feeling lonely and at a loss.
There are other reasons-- but I think it's mostly my T being away. I see him a lot and it's not that I feel abandoned-- but he's probably the one person I see and and one place I go. I don't really have activities-- and I gave up the one I have tonight to do some extra work.
This doesn't seem to amount to a hill of beans, I guess.
Babble seems so quiet, too. But I can't complain exactly-- seeing as I haven't been around myself.
I guess this is just a case of feeling dreary and disconnected from things and wishing I didn't, and wondering why I give in to feeling too afraid to do anything or go anywhere-- and then also feeling so far off from things and so isolated.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:844113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844113.html