Posted by lucie lu on September 17, 2008, at 13:54:23
In reply to T Touching Himself, posted by sassyfrancesca on September 17, 2008, at 8:17:49
Sassy, after damping down my first reaction to his behavior... I began to think about what this adds to an already complex situation. First, there's the elephant in the room. Second, there's the recent money thing, which it looks like may mean you having to go on your knees to him and ask for his largesse. Now this.
When I add all this up, I see it putting you not only further into a great state of inner frustration, but worse - frankly, I find it very hard to add this all up in any way that does not come up with the ultimate boundary crossing. I am really very worried for you, Sassy. You have already endured a highly frustrating and very unequal relationship with him for years, which on some level must leave you feeling disempowered at best, maybe demeaned at worst. You have been through a nightmare of a long, abusive marriage, and from what you say, this guy has been the only one in your eyes since your divorce. There must be still a lot stored up from that marriage that would likely get dumped on top of the detritus of this situation, if anything did happen. Plus you are potentially financially dependent on him if you want to continue seeing him. What a powder keg.
Sassy, I really understand how hard it must be when you are deeply attached to someone to purposefully detach from there for the sake of your own safety and welfare. Especially where you're still so vulnerable after your divorce. But I just keep seeing you right between the cross-hairs and it scares me.
What if you do get some consultation? Maybe you can find a place with a sliding fee scale, so you might be able to continue being seen on a continuing basis, "apres la deluge." And, as others have said, it is obvious that you are single, personally attractive, intelligent and interesting. You know it is very hard to encounter new guy possibilities when you are emotionally involved with someone else. I'll bet you'd find, once the baggage room got cleared out, that you'd have them lining up to get to know you :)
(((((((((Sassy))))))))))
I only want the best for you and to see you safe.
- Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:852422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852481.html