Posted by lucie lu on September 20, 2008, at 16:18:06
In reply to Re: Partners' feelings about your LT therapy? » lucie lu, posted by rskontos on September 20, 2008, at 13:26:16
I am really moved by the support and sharing that you've all shown. That's one thing that is so precious about this board - no one else in the world would understand this particular struggle. Like 10der on yesterday's thread, I would like to try to answer everyone individually if I can get the time.
My big fear is that I may have to choose between personal growth and healing, through a really meaningful therapeutic relationship, and my relationship with my DH. The reason I am so attached to my T is that it was such a hard-fought victory to become attached to another human being, period. Like JayJ and many others here, I learned early on to live pretty much entirely within myself, in my own inner world. It really didn't include trusting relationships with other people. Through my relationship with my T, I learned what it is like to feel safe within a personal relationship. And that it can be safe just being me. I'm learning how to recreate all that for myself, but still have a ways to go. I know that kind of safety, what I feel with my T, is sort of artifactual, that real life with real people is much more complicated. But you have to start somewhere and learn what it is you're aiming for. I have learned so much in therapy and I'm not done yet. I often have the feeling now that there is no limit to what I might finally be able to do, things that I never thought remotely possible. But feeling emotionally unsafe is a problem my DH and I have struggled with for years. I'm getting so much better, but still feel that I could get overwhelmed and confused and hurt and would slide right back. It would be all too easy.
poster:lucie lu
thread:853000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853119.html