Posted by workinprogress on January 13, 2009, at 0:49:45
In reply to Is it supposed to be all about the relationship?, posted by Looney Tunes on January 12, 2009, at 20:01:13
I think Lucie's response is very good and pointed. That really is the point... are you moving forward on the issues you think are important. Though, sometimes we don't know. I know for me I came with one issue (help me out of the pain of the breakup) and moved to the vague amorphous "I want to grow".
That said... my conversations with my T go from work, to dating/friends, to "us". I would say it's pretty darn equal between the three. I wish it was less work, but I'm a manager and my "stuff" plays out with the people I manage all the time, so it makes sense. And even when I think we don't have to talk about the "us" that it might be assumed... she asks me to say my thoughts... nothing is assumed. Because, she would say, in the end our relationship is a "microcosm". So, when there's something to learn in terms of what goes on/went on between the two of us, it's the best, because we have both perspectives in the room.
So, there's the "both perspectives" piece and also the just plain, I'm trying to figure out you and what you mean to me (transference) piece. For my T and I, she was all about getting close and bonding and me opening up to her. It was critical, but scary... and we had to talk about it A LOT. A WHOLE LOT. Less now, but sometimes it is still THE THING.
I think everyone is different, but... what you will hear over and over again is "hmm... maybe you should talk to your T about that". That's probably good advice here. It'll be scary, but probably good and you'll a) learn something and b) hopefully get what you need.
Good luck!
WIP
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> I notice that the majority of my therapy is about the relationship with my T and about what T thinks and what I think T thinks. (LOL!!)
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> I never sit down and say "This week has been so stressful because of x, y, z,....."
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> It's more like "T, I know you want to dump me and I think it sucks that you don't fess up to it because I hate that you are lying to me."
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> What the heck type of therapy is this?
> And then T challenges my beliefs or accusations. To which I come back with others.
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> The few things I have shared with T, usually we wind up back into the "relationship stuff."
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> So, is this how transference works? Or is this just me not trusting to get to the other issues?
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> When I read that others have actual conversations with their T about their weeks or issues, I am thinking I am missing something....
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> Any thoughts or comments. Thanks!
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poster:workinprogress
thread:873606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/873667.html