Posted by DAisym on January 15, 2009, at 23:00:12
"Deep down, you really are OK."My therapist said this to me today.
It isn't the first time he has said it. But he has been saying it more frequently lately. He said it at the end of the session, as part of his reassurance that I'd be fine during his vacation. It always lands kind of funny - like I believe him, I am OK, and at the same time, I want to sort of screech - "are you kidding? You've been listening, right?"
So he called a little bit ago and left a voice mail. He said, "I've been thinking about what I said at the end of the session about you being OK. What I meant was, that who you are now, in your core, is OK - and that things will be OK, even though there are hard parts, because you've built connections and you can live mostly in that place of knowing people love you and care about you." And he said some other stuff and listed some of the people who care and I could tell that he really wanted me to feel OK about being OK.
And I get everything he is saying. I understand that who I am now is OK despite everything that happened that wasn't OK. And that surrounding yourself with those who care and allowing yourself to feel cared for really does help make things OK overall.
So how come I feel crummy and upset now? Why is being OK as truly scary as not being OK?
poster:DAisym
thread:874251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/874251.html