Posted by Annierose on January 16, 2009, at 10:55:52
In reply to Deep Down, posted by DAisym on January 15, 2009, at 23:00:12
My therapist reminds me of a similar thing - continually - that I am not in that same situation anymore. I am no longer a child who is dependant upon the adults in her life to take care of her. What frightens me the most has already happened and it "CAN'T" hurt me again like it did before.
That stings. Even though our therapists are right, in that as adults we choose supportive friends and can learn how to put boundaries in place to protect our vulnerable parts - however - what leaves me feeling unsettled, is 1. the sense that I am alone in this --- or 2. how come I have to work so hard at doing this ---- or 3. are you telling me that it shouldn't hurt anymore??
Which my t would say, "You are not alone, I am here to help you. I want to help you. I am honored that I get to help you ... blah blah blah." Secondly, "yes, it is hard work to establish new patterns that were put in place as a child." And lastly, "I am not telling you that knowing that you are OKAY right now means that you don't need me anymore. I am reminding you that you are okay so you will hold onto that when you feel that things are spinning out of your control. Remember that."
I always love how your t thinks and re-thinks your sessions after you leave, then has the strength to leave you a message to clarify his original intent. It's almost like he can read your mind ... "I bet Daisy is thinking xyz, I'd better call to make sure she knows I am thinking this ..." I love him for that (and so many other things he does for YOU).
I'm kindof all over the place in this post. I guess what I'm trying to say is that knowing that we are ultimately OKAY doesn't mean that we necessarily feel OKAY moment to moment. It's something we are trying to integrate - or come to know as true - as time goes on in our therapy process. The hurt (trauma) is in the past - even though we feel it lurking around the corner in our daily lives.
Love, Annie
poster:Annierose
thread:874251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/874320.html