Posted by seldomseen on June 24, 2009, at 20:25:19
In reply to trauma and healing, posted by deerock on June 24, 2009, at 15:38:22
This is a very deep and provocative subject. I can only offer my opinion from my own experience. There was profound violence and trauma throughout my childhood. As witti indicated for years I felt nothing.
Then the feelings began to emerge. I have been in therapy, I think for 8 years now.
In my opinion one does not necessarily move on from abuse/trauma but one can move with it. There *is* happiness to be had, really good relationships with people, safety and kindness.
But, for me, there was a measured amount of grieving to do first. I had to grieve for my childhood that I never had, then I had to grieve for my life and the way it should have been. Then, of course, I had to grieve for the way it was. All of this grief came out in various forms - anger, anxiety, disappointment, apathy, but looking back it was all grief.
A big fat journey though grief.
Over time though I was finished grieving and ready to radically accept the way things are. Then I began to move with it.
I now think that moving with the scars means understanding how they affect me to this day. Recognizing and correcting behaviour patterns that are remnants of the trauma. No longer being a "slave" to the trauma empowers me to live my own life - finally.
I take my meds, I get plenty of rest, I try to maintain good mental health habits, but I simply can not withstand some of the stressors that my peers can. I'm more sensitive to hurt and guess I always will be. Is it a limited life? I don't think so. But perhaps I did get a late start on it.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:902975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/903024.html