Posted by alexandra_k on March 28, 2021, at 0:21:21
In reply to Hating the people that spread hateredheals hatred?, posted by Lamdage22 on March 26, 2021, at 14:12:58
I am not sure that it does.
I am also not sure what does heal hatred.
Maybe it depends why you hate.
I have discovered hatred.
It is true that I could try and empathise with them more. With their point of view. Their motivations. I could engage in rationalising things from their point of view...
That is what I would have done when I was younger.
But now I see that they cry crocodile tears and they manipulate by inducing guilt and shame and so on in their... Victims?
I am not a victim. In the people try try and keep under their thumbs.
So I try and limit my empathising. To the point where I say that I know they have their reasons. Largely it is an expression of their pathology. Because they did not get the help they needed. The issue / problem is that expressing their pathology will not get them the help they need. Also, expressing their pathology harms a lot of others. And actively prevents things developing to the point where they could actually get the help they need.
So...
I think there is a lot of sense in how it is... Pointless? Fruitless? Not a good thing... To forgive someone who is likely to do the same thing again / reoffend.
It is like... 'Sorry' doesn't mean anything when it isn't backed up with a plausible / credible plan so the situation doesn't happen again. 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is synonymous with 'tough bikkies, get used to feeling that way because I'm going to do that thing I did all over again'.
So staying angry at people likely to reoffend... Seems sensible. Wise.
I mean... What are the alternatives? Despair that they are going to do the same thing again? Hopelessness?
Anger is more likely to motivate some kind of action. Which seems to be what is needed.
What kind of action would be helpful?
They say that justice is costly. That's why nobody prosecutes. Because it is costly to prosecute. But what is the cost of failing to prosecute? Game over. I don't mean 'they win' game over. I mean annihilation game over. No more playing of games full stop.
Life is nasty bruitish and short.
And eventually they fall ill.
And the vultures (the next generation of them) come swarming for their prey.
This is the world that they made.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1114282
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20200305/msgs/1114314.html