Posted by shar on October 3, 2000, at 20:03:51
In reply to Re: Walking on egg shells..., posted by noa on October 2, 2000, at 18:35:41
Greg,
I am guilty of doing this (walking on eggshells) in two situations.1. Growing up in an abusive household youngsters learn quickly to watch incredible nuances in behavior of parents, because there are "tells" that will indicate when they are about to go off on someone (not 100% of the time). So, eggshell walking can be self-protective.
2. In my therapy group, there is a woman who actually is very "fragile" (thin, wispy) looking, and had a HORRIBLE and INCREDIBLY SICK AND ABUSIVE childhood and early adulthood. It took me a year or so to believe that I could say things that might upset her and she would come out of it ok. We had several discussions on the point, and finally I have been able to let go of that worry (about 95%).
She brought that up this week in group, interestingly enough. She said that was the big turning point when she knew she and I could be closer.
People don't do it to me, because (I think) I've always been responsible for a lot of family things, and just keep on going no matter what. People can rarely tell if I'm suicidal or anxious, because I always look "serene" they say. If so, it's not on purpose!!
I agree with talking it out, and I know it's been a rough time lately, but maybe give a moment of thought about whether you've "gone off on someone" when they talked to you about something you weren't ready to handle. If so, they may be feeling a little self-protective. I could be totally off base here; just MHO.
Shar
Shar
poster:shar
thread:773
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/805.html