Posted by BarbaraCat on November 5, 2003, at 12:52:04
In reply to BarbaraCat - Meth, Brain Damage, » BarbaraCat, posted by Clayton on November 4, 2003, at 12:54:01
And thank you, Clayton, for your kind words. We've all been through alot, some more than others, and hopefully we've learned alot because of the enforced growth of pain, if we're open to it. I know I'm working on patience and trust - biggies for me. I think of my earlier years which were pretty shallow and self centered and defiant - a little juvenile delinquent who thought only of herself and her immediate gratifications. Fine for a very young child but not serving for an adult.
A severe mood disorder has presented the choice to get a grip, get a heart, or die. When I'm not feeling too crazy I appreciate the crazy wisdom behind it all. When I asked a spiritual teacher why there was so much suffering and pain and depression he said 'We've come here to learn compassion. What better way to learn this than to soften the heart around pain and recognize it and the world as our teacher?' Wise words that I've often come back to when my inner and outer worlds got very rough.
You mention the damage to the brain. I also take heart in what Deepak Chopra says about the quantum field and how the intelligence and consciousness displayed at the atomic level presents infinite possibilities to us. The subtle fields in and around us are not static and can morph and evolve into anything we can imagine. Just because we don't know how to do this yet doesn't mean it's not in our power.
There are so many miracles and so much grandeur to life. When we're depressed and sick we get cut off from the awareness of that splendour, we only see the inside of a static filled grey box. But that splendour is there anyway. Sometimes I remember to look at my screen shots of the Hubble pictures of galaxies and star nurseries and I remember and think 'ah, yes, there is more here than my pain and confusion.' It doesn't take it away but it does give me something to hold onto, like a warm hand in my mind. So, good luck, Clayton, and keep in touch. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:257077
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