Posted by Lindsay Rae on December 30, 2003, at 10:03:18
In reply to i fell off the tightrope , posted by craig allen on December 29, 2003, at 19:30:49
I'm right there with you Craig! There are a couple of other message boards I take solace in, and those are WeSpeakMethadone (also about Bup) and the Methadone Interzone. The people on those boards really understand what it feels like to need opiates as antidepressants. I've been on Methadone for pain as well as a crutch for my mood disorder, but I think Bup is right up your alley.
As for the questions directed at me, I've been on Methadone for just over two years. I took Vicodin and the like for about three years, but oddly, I never exceeded three pills per day. Granted, I would go out and drink at night, but it never occured to me to take more pills. I know that sounds odd, but it's just what I needed to feel right--one pill at a time. In October of 2001, I met Chris, who introduced me to crushing Oxycontin and snorting them, then directly to it's shady cousin, H. I had just gotten myself in over my head financially, with a lease car payment, new appartment, and all that goes with it, blindly making commitments before I had secured a job in this area. I just knew I had friends there, and I made erratic decisions in my manic state. Chris' house was like an escape to heaven. He'd tie me off and shoot that warm liquid in my vein, and the problems disappeared. We became junkie lovers, but after only a month I was sucked dry, in worse financial shape than ever. Chris brought me to his Methadone clinic so I wouldn't be sick when we couldn't score, but I kept going up on my dose until I couldn't feel the dope anymore. So I was actively looking for employment, and he was still spending every waking moment hustling for more drugs, dragging me through the hood to score crack to melt with lemon juice and inject. Thousands of dollars worth of crap at a time. I became pregnant, and I left for obvious reasons. But there is no detoxing off Methadone when you are pregnant. The fetus could not survive the withdrawal. As the pregnancy progressed, my dose kept rising, from a modest 70 mg to a whopping 120 mg. But like many others in my shoes, it was a life saving drug for me. I don't get "high" from my daily dose. But I don't feel sick or crave opiates either.
In order to get on Bup, I would have to taper down to 30 mg and still withstand painful withdrawal as the Bup flushes the Methadone off of those receptors. Bup is best for someone on a very low dose of Meth, or someone just coming off of Heroin. I hope I cleared that all up!
Peace,
Linds
poster:Lindsay Rae
thread:287428
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031208/msgs/294641.html