Posted by Kristylynn on March 25, 2004, at 11:44:33
I have been clean for almost 2 years.... I have a great wonderful son, a great boyfriend, start a new job on the 30th of this month.... But for some off the wall reason I picked up my drug of choice last week and I am finding myself right back in the deep dark hole I dug for myself right before I decided quit... I cant tell anyone because they will be so disappointed and hurt ... My boyfriend would never understand.... I have only been dating him a few months... He knows the stories of my drug use and that alone scares him... If I told him he would never trust me..... My son would die.... I have promised myself that I am going to stop... Now I have that guilt and shame working for me .. I feel so dirty and nasty.... Reality will hit soon.... I have spent money I dont have to support my habit.... I know that I dont want back into that life.... And I feel strongly that I can quit.. But right now these feelings that I have are really bringing me down.... And no one understands why I am acting this way because no one knows i have fallen again... please someone just give me some words of support and wisdom... I need all the help I can get right now.....
poster:Kristylynn
thread:328198
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040130/msgs/328198.html